Friday 3 January 2014

A tearful break up

Finally I am bidding adieu to a very close friend. A friend who has stood by me through thick and thin for over a decade and a half. There rarely has been a moment when the two of us have been apart - lonely nights of uncertainty, high spirited parties, bored evenings, drives to work and back, hours of animated conversations with friends, coffee breaks, pondering over presentations - no, I can't think of a moment when we were not together. If not physically, we were together mentally. And emotionally. Infrequent as it were, whenever we were apart, the joyous anticipation of meeting and being together again would put even Krishna and Radha's love story to shade. The thought of just being in close proximity, would make my heart flutter, hands tremble, knees weak. I am sorry if I sound like a cheap porn writer but I don't know how to express the feeling in any other way.

Funny, now when I look back, I have forged new relationships and cemented some for life because of this friend. I have had bitter fights with loved ones and have had to lie occasionally to keep this relationship going. Our relationship was non negotiable.

It was only in the company of my age old mate that I could think, I could write, I could laugh, I could deal with whatever life had to hand out. The relationship was my life support. Most importantly, my identity.  

But no more. Call it age, call it wisdom, call it will power, call it what you will but the time has come to move forward. Alone. The separation is painful and lonely. Not a moment passes without a constant nagging feeling of a loss. But I have realised, if I truly want to live my life to the fullest, then I have to move on.

The time has finally come to Kick The Butt. Rest in Peace my friend. Thank you for being there whenever I needed you. You will be remembered fondly, always.